My Annual Travel: Ghana (3 of 3)

I know this last post is long overdue, and I apologize. I've called this series my annual travel because I do want to make it a yearly habit to go abroad. And I do mean abroad and not just to another borough or to the West Coast. Granted, America is different all over, but actually being outside the continent makes me feel like I'm closer to the outside world and not just simmering in my native NYC juices for the most part. I believe as artists (writers, photographers, painters, musicians, etc.) that we expand our art by learning about the outside world as well as reflecting what we've learned from our daily surroundings.

The yearn for traveling has taken me to Dublin, Ireland for 28 days where I was boarding with girls younger and older than me. And surprise, surprise I found that the women around my age or older (except for one) were the only people I could tolerate on a mental level. I still keep in touch with two of these lovely ladies from their new locations of Seattle and Boston. (Hope to see you soon Aexis & Colleen!) When I was in Dublin the Americans still had sympathy from 9/11 and pre-Iraq War. It'd be cool to return to Dublin to see what they think of us now that we've elected Barack Obama as our 44th president.

I've been to Canada twice, both times in Ontario, and found that in Toronto I had a feeling of blending in & belonging. While in Kingston racism was a bit more prevalent. My guide/friend at the time seemed to realize it more than I did, but it was weird to be up North where they consider themselves so much more advanced then us and to be in a small city where I got stares because of the color of my skin, I mean I haven't experienced that in any of my travels in the U.S., yet.

I spent a few days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for a friends wedding and didn't get to experience Mexican culture too much because the area I was in was saturated with American corporations like Wal-mart, Pizza Hut, Dominoes, and I'm pretty sure I may have seen an Applebee's also. I did go ziplining on my last day through the forests of the city and after rapid sweats and one or two freak out sessions enjoyed my time thoroughly. I even buddied up with two older sisters that were probably in their 50s or so but had the vitality of someone thirty years younger. And what was awesome is that they made it a point to travel together every year.

This year's trip was one I have longed for to visit England, Hereford specifically. I was considering doing a travel abroad in England rather than Ireland than all this Mad Cow stuff happened and well, that was that. I'll want to hit up London at some point, but for research purposes of my novel I need to absorb myself in Hereford for at least three or four days. My hubby seems to really want to come with me which should be good. I hope he doesn't mind me dragging him across the Wye River and going on Cider tours.

My first opportunity to go to Africa was on the CCNY Study Abroad to Morocco. However, once I heard that I wouldn't get to shower on a daily basis the trip was null & void in my mind. Sorry, but there are some things I just can't negotiate. Even the opportunity to dump a bucket of water over me would've sufficed at the time.

But that was then and this is now.

PALF PEEPS Whenever one sets out to travel on their own various images come to mind. For one, what type of people are you going to meet? And two, if there's a language barrier, how will I ask where the bathroom is? For me, the arrival at the airport for my plan ride to Ghana reminded me of my trip to Dublin. I'd basically be cohabitating (kind of) with people I'd never met before of various personalities. And this worried me greatly. In Dublin we were all getting our BAs and were of different mindsets. For the first two days everyone was nice to one another and after that BAM came the divide. Of course living with eight other women tends to mean cattiness may be improbable.

So when we were all cordial (males & females all in our twenties or older) it was pleasant. I was optimistic about the people I'd get to meet. And you know what happened? They didn't disappoint whatsoever. Perhaps it was because it was an older group, and we're all artists just trying to make our way in life and better ourselves and our work that was the bonding theme throughout the conference. I mean having all these other factors that tend to make our daily lives inhabitable and just being together in the Motherland to appreciate this experience made for no ill will amongst those that I hung around. Of course I didn't get to know everyone over the course of a week and that saddens me a bit because I'm sure I missed out on some really cool personalities. I also didn't get to know some people I liked as well as I could've of (thanks traveler's diarrhea) but there was such an overflow of positivity that I felt good the whole time. Not once did I feel a need to bake anyone cookies to try and get with the in-crowd. Not that I could've baked but I could've bought some people digestive cookies.

To date I've been able to keep in contact or be "friended" with people on Facebook. I've seen people's posts about events in NYC, updates on their writing and life, and just queries about life in general. Facebook and Twitter updates have allowed me to know when the flow-tastic Caitlin is performing in the area, see the latest video (Cosmic Headphones) from poet and lyricist extraordinaire Eagle Nebula, hear about the new addition to Paula's family as she balances motherhood and a non-fiction book, and congratulating Chelsea on finishing her novel after years of research, sweat, and tears.

I was able to see my friend Stewart last week at Book Expo which was very happy making. And just saw on Facebook that one of the PALF contest winners, Mildred, just had a book of poetry published in Africa. My instructor Binyavanga is finishing up his time at Bard and fellow workshopper Nana may be coming to NYC this summer. I also heard that Jodie (one of the Admins for PALF) will be headed to England to focus on her writing.

Seeing, reading, hearnig these updates is always great and validating to know that they're still maintaining their creativity. That we're all at different stages of our lives, are healthy and working towards something. Perhaps we don't know what yet, but we're still striving as artists to succeed, to publicize ourselves and our interests, and supporting one another whether it be a simple comment of encouragement on Facebook or paying the fee to see them shine in front of a microphone.

Next year PALF is supposed to be held in Mali. I'm wavering making that my go-to writing spot for the summer or applying to the Iowa Writer's Workshop summer program or someplace else. I'm wavering if I want to go through the vaccinations, medicine, and potential sickness that may inflict me during my time there or if I should stay stateside and see what feedback I can get here. Thinking back to Ghana and how people worried over my well-being, checked in on me when I was at my lowest point, made me laugh and holler at their work in enthusiasm, or just shared my sense of mind when it came to ploughing through that work that seems like the monkey on your back. I think back to the day I got to dance in the rain to live music after eating joloff rice and consider that the experience and people are worth it, hands down.

Extreme Eats: Everyting is bigger in the U.S.

World's Largest Burger

The Travel Channel is going EXTREME today with a marathon of shows with the word 'Extreme' in the title. My husband and I caught Extreme Pigouts, which focused on restaurants that catered to the ridiculous in portion and idealogy yet making viewers mouths water nonetheless.

Reader(s) you know I am a self-pronounced foodie and that I enjoy the finer things in life. But deep-fried pizza? Fourteen thousand calories in a tub of Ben & Jerry's? A faux doctor, who used to be a nutritionist opening a burger joint with ridiculous portions? America is indeed the land of the free, but a place where obesity trends have increased heavily from 1985-2007. Internationally the US is the first (We're #1, We're #1) nation in regards to percentage of population that is obese. And watching a show like Extreme Pigouts today further explains how we got that way.

Healthier eating and a healthier life have become a wave that many cable channels, cooking shows, and QVC segments have focused on a lot more in the past decade or so. There's a channel devoted only to fitness (FitTV) as well as a handful more shows on healthy cooking, and a slew of reality shows focusing on weight loss (The Biggest Loser, Celebrity Fit Club, Bridal Bootcamp, etc.). There are many vegan cookbooks available catering to that culture and books on macrobiotic diets and so forth. We still hear the promises of quick fixes with pills and workout DVDs and energy drinks or anything that has the word 'Special K' on it. So how is it that we're still an obese nation?

Because of supply and demand. Watching Extreme Pigouts and even Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, or anything with Paula Deen, one cannot deny that the deep or pan fried dish looks tasty and from what we're being told by the idiot box is extremely tasty. I won't feign disgust at the thought of deep fried mac n' cheese because I've tasted it from The Cheesecake Factory. I can't say that ice cream with brownies, cookies, nuts, and whipped cream on top doesn't appeal to me. And I certainly won't say that a big ole flavorful burrito doesn't make me drool a little. What I find to be the problem, and as Nutri-system commercials state, is that it's about portion control as much as it is about what you eat. The problem in watching Extreme Pigouts is seeing the lengths that these already-bad-for-you foods go to become a staple on the U.S. map. As the owner of Jack-n-Grill stated he always had a mindset that his stuff had to be the biggest since he was from Nevada originally and apparently there were some turf wars between the state and Texas in terms of which one really has the biggest stuff. (Just an extension of the male ego if you ask me, I mean look at how big all these new NYC condos are being built; extension of something, perhaps?)

In the words of the ladies in Gypsy "you gotta have a gimmick." And so on Extreme Pigouts places like Big Mama's and Papa's Pizzeria can't just make good pizza, but the largest pizza. A pie is 54 inches in length and width and has to be delivered in a flat bed truck. Suitable for parties yes, but what if someone just figured they could live on the food staple for a while and now has to down pound upon pound of pizza or else it's just a waste?

Places like The Chip Shop will deep fry almost anything and everything edible, except some animals I suspect. Deep fried egg, egg sandwiches, pizza, double fried donuts, twinkies, the list goes on and on. The announcer on the show said that a couple deep fried twinkies or other desserts go over the daily caloric intake of an average individual.

Ben & Jerry's in Vermont will provide you a tub of 14,000 calorie goodness with a bad ass brain freeze on the side in the form of a tub of ice cream with a brownie, three choco chip cookies, four scoops of walnuts, a ton of whipped cream, all residing on a bed of 20 scoops of ice cream that comes up halfway in the tub. On Pigouts we saw 8 teenagers take on this 8lb mass of sugar and fat, garnering about a pound per person, unless you have that greedy friend. And you know we all do.

And in the video in the link provided you see The Heart Attack Grill where patrons over 350lbs get to eat for free everyday and everyone else gets to enjoy the fry bar with a burger named after heart surgery. I won't even go into the waitresses dolled up as hotty nurses and the owner dressed up as a doctor touting a motto of prescriptions of deliciousness or whatever, even though he used to be a nutritionist and found that people were happier gorging on fat. Everything here is cooked in lard, lard people! Pure fat! As delicious as it may taste fat on fat is not cool, especially on the hips.

The gimmick is that we must be the biggest and the best because we're entitled as Americans to free speech and free reign. Yes, women fought for the right to make decisions on what happens to their bodies via Roe v. Wade. And yes, not all neighborhoods are equipped with the healthier resources we'd need to make our bodies big and strong. But proprietors of such places that go overboard in thinking they're giving you what you want need to be able to stand back from everything and say to themselves: "Hey, maybe a seven pound burrito is a bit extreme."

Of course individuals need to be responsible for what they're putting in their mouth and I wouldn't be so bold as to say go on strike from tasty treats like Krispy Kreme or Popeye's or for the love of God your local Chinese food joint. I just think that the fact that some could think that the gimmick of "bigger is better" is always a good thing think things over a bit. No one needs that much more of what we can get nearby. In New York City seeing the nutritional facts for most chain stores leaves me wondering why I'd want to Supersize anything if it meant I couldn't eat anything else for the rest of the day without seeing some nice cottage cheese thighs develop. I've backed away from Dunkin Donuts or IHOP after seeing the caloric count for foods I ate without a second thought in the past.

I was raised to eat everything on my plate and sometimes that thinking pervades still today. When going to fancier restaurants that aren't chains I look at the meat, carbs, and veg on my plate and think I won't be filled by this at all. Screw that, lemme hit up Applebee's and get the large chicken fingers and fries. But lo and behold at Bar Americain or Josephina's or Peep or Babbo I become amazed at how much my stomach contracts at my attempt to put in any more food. By Job those portions were just right and I might even have room for dessert!

Bigger does look better. Especially if it means you're getting more for your money. And hell yeah that's a great deal when in a recession! But, when looking back and thinking on how much gluttony has become a part of our culture I have to aire on the side of caution and say that when your tummy says stop, stop. And as good as that eighth piece of pizza looks or as tasty as the sound of deep fried snickers rings in your ear to try and think a bit about the gimmick and consider whether or not it's in your best interest.

I mean, doesn't this look tasty?!?

Fruit!

Product Review: Diva Smooth from Janelle Beauty

Diva Smooth Kit Today I, shockingly, only spent twelve minutes in line at the Post Office waiting to send back the Diva Smooth products I purchased a few weeks ago.

I'd heard about Janelle Beauty's Diva Smooth product after looking at the website going-natural.com. At the time, I looked a few months back, there had been an advertisement for Diva Smooth, an all-natural product that promised to get your hair straight without the pesky and harmful chemicals some women of color (like myself) may come to rely on to straighten our hair. Well, hearing about that I had to find out more because who wouldn't want to be able to switch out the regular sessions and slight burning of chemicals for something that is natural and you can do at home?

So I went to the website, looked at their description of Diva Smooth, looked at their testimonials and the common questions area, then even Googled the product to see if anyone else had written about it saying she had some positive results. You'll probably also see woman chatting about it on the Long Hair Care Forum. After that, I figured I'd take the plunge because you always have to try something to learn, no?

It took less than a week for the product to arrive and I tried it that weekend. At this point it'd been several weeks since I had my last relaxer done and I wanted to see how it'd do with my hair having been "out of it" for almost two months. I read the directions and saw I'd need an applicator brush and had to make due with what I had in the apartment.

One of the main ingredients in the Diva Smooth product is honey along with herbs and some natural fruits and stuff. The consistency is of honey as well so when you're applying it to your hair it's extremely sticky and makes it hard to effectively get it from root to tip. I'd advise you to have a Diva Smooth party so you and your friends can do each others hair because after a few you see your hair sticking on its end, yet it smells amazing! After an hour or so I got through my full head of hair, roots and all, covered my head with a cap and waited. The instructions suggest that you wait 35 minutes with the product on if you have fine hair and 45 minutes for coarser hair. I cooked dinner and after an hour I washed and conditioned my hair via my normal routine as it states in the instructions. After drying my hair I noticed no change in texture, smell, or straightness. It looked the same as before.

Irritated, but still hopeful, I used the Virgin Coconut Serum figuring perhaps this would aid in the straightening process. It's actually included because it's supposed to help repair your hair from too much heat. One of the things that Diva Smooth notes repeatedly is that you have to flat iron your hair to get it straight. Okay, fine. As I parted each piece of my hair for the flat iron I sprayed some of the Serum on, massaged it in, then flat ironed it. I must say that the Serum brought out a nice luster in my hair and again smelled fabulous. It doesn't smell so much like coconut exactly but does have a faint trace of it that lasted for five or so days.

I decided that before I gave up on the product I'd try it again and waited a week before doing so. This time I had my applicator brushes (one straight and one a-symmetrical) all ready to go. Take that!

On another Sunday I took a couple of hours to apply (from root to end) Diva Smooth to my hair. Since there'd been a nice frost during the spring in NYC the Diva Smooth product and Serum products had congealed. So, note to selves make sure to keep these things at room temperature to ensure that they remain liquified. After leaving the bottles in hot water for several minutes they became liquidy enough to come out of their nozzle and spray respectively. It took a little less time, as by now I'd become a pro at this, and I covered my hair again for about an hour to do some errands then resumed the wash & conditioning routine.

Upon drying my hair I again noticed that the texture, consistency, and smell had not changed at all. I flat ironed my hair and used the Virgin Coconut Serum to no avail. My newly shiny and tropical smelling hair went on our merry way to work.

Now, just to explain I've been having my hair chemically relaxed since I was in my senior year of high school so that's about ten years or so. My hair is not naturally straight and my roots grow out relatively fast. So I was disappointed that for me Diva Smooth did not provide any difference to what happens to me after a while of not getting my hair chemically altered. This past weekend I saw my hair dresser (who gave me a tongue lashing for waiting two months to see her) and got my hair chemically relaxed and noticed the difference. My roots were bone straight and of course my hair had a nice luster. Once the rain and wind hit it this weekend that all went to hell, but that's beside the point. Diva Smooth claims to be the natural version of chemically relaxing your hair and all I noticed was that I had struggled to put honey in my hair, washed it out, and had the same results with kinky roots that were no straighter than they were hours earlier, along with ends that weren't any straighter than they had been hours earlier either.

Many women have noted on the Diva Smooth testimonials page that this product worked well for them and that they haven't had to use a chemical relaxer for months. So perhaps Diva Smooth really does work for some and not all. Perhaps I just picked a fickle time to use it on my hair. I did want to be sure not to mix up the effects of my chemical relaxer with that of Diva Smooth and so figured that using it after six, seven weeks of no relaxer would really tell me how this product worked on its own.

I'm not trying to say do or don't use Diva Smooth. I'd definitely suggest you try it and see if it may be your miracle cure for straight hair with no more waiting in the salon and shelling out extra cash in tips to your shampoo girl and stylist. However, you may enjoy those regular trips to the salon and getting out of the house every so often.

As a precursor you may want to purchase a cute little honey squeeze bottle in the shape of a bear and comb that through your hair a couple times and see if you want to take the plunge with Diva Smooth. It'd be a good test.

Side bar, I just wanted to say that the Janelle Beauty site has two listings for the same two products in the Hair section. One is the Diva Smooth Kit for $34.99 which includes the Diva Smooth product and Virgin Coconut Hair Serum. There's another listing of the same two products at the price of $29.99. Why they'd charge customers five dollars more for the exact same products with only the word 'kit' added is beyond me.

England & the U.S.A, Not So Different After All?

I didn't realize I hadn't posted anything for this year yet. I really thought I had some good Obama action after the Inauguration. Or perhaps it's Blogger messing with me? Ah well. A few weeks ago my husband and I returned from about a week-long trip in England. We went to a nice little city called Hereford for five days and spent our last night in London. Here's a snippet of my thoughts on that trip.

US Flag

UK Flag

The Tele My first day in England had me absorbed in their television shows on their basic channels (BBC1, BBC2, Channel Four, ITV, and Five!). In the mornings they had their block of "trash" talk shows. One of which reminded me of Maury Povich whose British counterpart would be Jeremy Kyle. A man who seems to relish being thrust into the middle of broken relationships. Over the course of watching three episodes there was at least an average of one paternity test, this same "entertainment" ploy has become a staple in Povich's show. Young women agree to be on the show to air their dirty laundry and get a free trip to New York City along with a free DNA test for their child(ren). Some of these women tend to come on Povich's show repeatedly causing one to wonder if she is indeed as loose as she comes off as or if this was just a nice set-up behind the scenes to garner some ratings.

Some of Kyle's guests had such thick Cockney accents one could hardly make out the insults they were slinging. My husband was slightly taken aback by this, thinking that all Brits were regal and cultured. Mind you we also learned that England has the highest teen pregnancy rate of all the countries in Europe explaining why the topic du jour was often two teens figuring out how to try and balance their relationship with a newborn child in the mix.

There were also a bunch of shows transported over the Atlantic. It's expected that shows that are/were hits in America would soon make their way to England, shows such as: 'Desperate Housewives', 'Will & Grace', 'Everybody Loves Raymond', etc. But some were kind of head scratchers to me like 'The Flintstones' and moreso 'Everybody Hates Chris.' Seeing such a specific show that even in the U.S. urban markets hasn't been doing very well ratings-wise surprised me when I caught the last few minutes on a Saturday night on one of the basic channels in our hotel room. It was also pleasant to see further confirmation of Chris Rock's appeal internationally.

The BBC News was a staple in our media absorption. For the most part we caught the evening news to hear about Kate Winslet & Slumdog Millionaire's Oscar wins. Another big story a few days later was the death of David Cameron's, son Ivan. Cameron is the Conservative Leader in Parliament. There were many stories in regards to Britain's economic crisis which befell them around the same time it did the United States. Tax payers there are already bailing out banks all over the country and there are many people losing their jobs and homes. A friend I got to visit in London informed me that buying property in London is a really big deal and that young people getting out of college are pressured to do so to already begin owning property and starting a portfolio at the end of the day. "Renting is very frowned upon," she said, adding that she knew many people already in debt. Her roommate was already worrying about paying off her mortgage had my friend not been living with her and getting steady work for the past year.

Shoppin' As a tourist these are things you don't see straight off the bat. Especially when going to Harrod's and seeing the stores with people hemorhaging out of the doors trying to get that posh bit of London that notes they were there. I can't say I wasn't guilty of the same thing as I clung to my teddy bear wearing a Harrod's robe as I waited for a cashier to ring me up. Statistics say that London is one of the most visited cities in the world and it showed when I saw Americans and Brits clamouring for the shiny and glittery objects at Harrod's. It was evident when I heard the silky Italian language that this was the equivalent of Macy's in Herald Square. These same crowds I avoid as much as possible after work and on weekends was the same crowd I was doing battle with to snag a box of Harrod's Earl Grey from it's pyramid in one corner and gather some White wine (for one stop shopping) as I was cornered by a visiting group of Spaniards. The grandness of the outside of Harrod's reminded me of all the thinking that must go on at Macy's once Spring rolls around and their display windows must have flowers, flowers, and more flowers! The lights, the mannequins in sequins and various hues were eye-catching and at the same time gaudy as hell. My friend summed it up pretty accurately, Harrod's is just the pinnacle of "ostentatiousness."

Welcome to London! When first arriving at Paddington Station I was instantly reminded of Grand Central with all the side shops offering food, information, clothing, broadband service, etc. With the difference being that Paddington Station has a large opening at one of the main entrances allowing cars to park nearby or passengers to enter without having to worry about steps or an escalator. It had an older, colonial feel but definitely gave off the feeling of Grand Central with it's grandness and superiority, the high walls that seem millions of miles away and stretches of floor that go from here to there. I really liked the station, but was pretty peeved when I learned I had to pay 30 pence just to use the bathroom and couldn't get change unless an attendant was around. I stomped up the stairs requesting (i.e.: demanding) that my husband give me all the change he had.

After having a lovely and seemingly large room at a B&B in Hereford we were shocked at the lack of space we had in our London hotel. It made me think of moving from a lush one-bedroom in one of the Outer boroughs to moving to Manhattan for less than half the space (and a higher price). Our hotel (per night) was more than the one in Hereford and the space was so tight that we had to put our suitcases on top of the closet we had just to get around the bed. My husband said it reminded him of the pod rooms he saw pictures of in Tokyo where it's simply a bed and a screen. Now, it wasn't that bad. But coming from a place where the bathroom was twice the size of the one we have at home and there was enough space in the 'living' area for us to not only walk around the bed but lay down on the floor coming to this squat area was like living in a studio in the East Village just because you can. We had no bathtub just the shower and for some reason the toilet paper roll was under the sink. It was nice and contemporary looking with the sleek lines, dark colors, and minimal attributes but I'd take the spacious bathroom in Hereford where I took some nice baths when the heat wasn't pumping so frequently and the bright fuschia decor over this anyday. I wonder if people that stay in hotels across from Penn Station or Grand Central or even on Broadway have to deal with this spacing issue. For me it was a direct replication of the renting issue from Manhattan to most of the outer Boroughs (even if you find one of the richer areas to move to). For the same price you can get much more if you're willing to spend some extra time on the subway or say you're from Queens, Brooklyn, or the Bronx rather than say "Oh, I live uptown." The country side is definitely the way to go people.

Look, Boss da Train! The London Underground is also an interesting thing. Their transit employees proved to be extremely helpful to my husband and I even though some things like their charging system was a bit off to me. I believe NYC is one of the few transit systems with a flat fare. Chicago & Boston charge people by distance. London charges people by zones. In NYC you can go from Coney Island to Parkchester for one rate not having to worry about anyone or anything checking your ticket to make sure you aren't trying to swindle the system. When looking at things that way perhaps one may not be so angry when thinking of the impending fare hikes. My husband paid about ten American dollars to pay for us to have what could be considered a 1-day unlimited card for zones 1 & 2. Also something to note is the abundance of machines to purchase tickets from. It didn't look like there were any people selling them so the MTA's step with just having Service agents, relying on the machines to do all the work of selling making Station Agents unnecessary, is something that London has already seemed to adopt.

The Underground turnstiles are much like the NJ Path turnstiles in that you slip your card through and two paddles blocking your entrance allow you passage. You follow the herd of people along the twists and turns to get to the line you need. These lines are color coded (like ours) and have specific names like The Circus Line (yellow) or The Picadilly Line (brown). We have the IND and the BMT but we rarely call them these things more so "The Sixth Avenue Line" or "The Eighth Avenue Line" which becomes somewhat redundant when you're in an outer borough. More apt may be "Train to Coney Island" or "Train to Brooklyn Bridge" or "Train that goes along Queens Blvd for most of the route." And you shouldn't refer to these lines by their color in either London or NYC. I wouldn't say "The green line" to either a service agent in London or a station agent in the Bronx. Trust me, they'll look at you and laugh or just ignore you.

A few of the Underground stations we were at had large screens embedded in the walls. This seemed redundant because there isn't any sound emitting from the walls and because the Tube comes very regularly. Something that reminded me of the L subway stations is the electronic scroll that lets passengers know when the next Tube is coming and if on an adjoining track it'll say which one is on the way. Except for late night, I didn't have to wait more than three minutes for a Tube. It was awesome.

Thing is these trains are very cramped with limited seating (especially for the handicap). So I wouldn't want to be in one during the London equivalent of rush hour. I felt claustrophobic enough standing in one for several stops as we tried to get to Picadilly Circus. People were to the right and left of me and I was stuck in the middle to hold a pole as no ventillation was provided. I automatically became nervous and realized in the event of (God forbid) another attack we'd be cramped and helpless underground. Scary.

Fashion! Turn to the left... When arriving in Hereford and doing a full day's look around of the City Centre we noticed the fashion of the teenagers around us. My husband thought he got away from the below the waistline (and sometimes buttocks) style that some men tend to wear here. But instead he was welcomed by this style, not all together gratuitous in nature, but still disturbing considering the pristine take he had on Brits in general. Seeing some men with a bit of their shirts untucked allowing us to see an inch or more of their boxer shorts set him off. In NYC we've seen a lot worse to the point where I've seen the entire undergarment with someone's butt poked out, as if mocking me, and at times I've seen the skin of said person's thighs and ankles because the jeans were not meant to stay up all together. At least the way the kids in Hereford were wearing them allowed for them to walk properly, not with the gaping steps that remind one of John Wayne meeting a villain for a showdown in True Grit.

We noticed this a bit more on the train ride back to London. We saw several boys (Black and White) with pleasant accents and demeanors as they joked around with each other wearing jeans that seemed stuck just below their crack revealing the nicest and crispest of underwear. I shrugged it off as my husband pointed to them in disgust. I maintained that they still came off more respectful with their "urbafying" their clothes than many of the men I've seen on the streets. I just don't understand how one could wear something below their butts during winter and think themselves comfortable even if it seems to be the style.

That being said women have their faults too when it comes to sensible fashion practices. Of course this usually stems from a need to get attention and so is seen more frequently on their way to night clubs or bars to potentially meet their future husband (or wife).

On our last night in Hereford my husband and I walked around to try and find a bar where we could just sit, drink, and talk. This seemed to be a tall order on a Friday night in Hereford. I tended to forget that even though this was a small, intimate city, that wasn't booming on most nights yet allowed for people to enjoy themselves with food & drink (and some karaoke on the right night) that on Friday's a lot of these quiet places turned into clubs or seething areas to catch an STD. It reminded me of some places in SoHo and far off in midtown on either the west or east side. Women stumbling in heels either because they are not used to them or are already inebriated as they walked in 30 degree (most times lower) weather with the occasional wind chill factor thrown in, or snow for good measure, as they attempt to impress some of the suitors within the bar area. We saw an ambulance outside one of the bars-turned-clubbing-hotspot and a gaggle of girls with no jackets but lots of low-cut or backless tops and short skirts and platform heels hopped to their next destination while one girl was slumped over needing help to make it the few blocks to wherever they were headed. I saw men humping each other with a beer in one hand and declaring their "brotherly love" for one another. These events brought it all home to me as I saw people decked out to get laid. My husband wanted to attempt to relive (or live) a youth he hadn't experienced and enter into one of these debaucherous "clubs." I looked down at my flair jeans, sneakers, and sweater hidden behind a warm wool coat and fleece scarf and shook my head. "I'm too old for that shit," I announced as we tried to see if any place wasn't overrun by post-pubescent, hormonal youths.

Brief Interlude: "Change is coming to America!" Barack Obama fever is everywhere apparently. Not just in Africa or Obama, Japan or even parts of Canada. The Brits seem to like them some Obama. His books were easily attainable at stores in the City Centre and he was lauded for his upcoming visit with PM Gordon Brown as they understood that both the U.S. and GB economies are somewhat fused together in success and failure.

God Bless You... Michael Moore's Sicko was a documentary that makes an American grind their teeth at the thought of American healthcare in relation to the ones around the world. At one point Moore and his crew visited a hospital in England where people did not have to pay for their visit at all. In fact a couple had a baby and left the hospital with nothing additional but the child itself. Apparently they even have a cashier that can refund you money on the cab you took to get to the hospital. Crazy indeed, my friends. On the news we heard that there was some dissonance between the people and the law when it came to universal healthcare because apparently there's also something called social care that is not covered. Social care can mean anything that is not directly related to helping the physical aspects of your illness. Like therapy or getting transportation to where you need to go if handicap or other necessities that whomever doesn't think of as immediate needs for the ill. Go figure. This was something that Moore didn't touch upon as it seemed to be a rising problem in England or at least that's what the BBC and the people they interviewed said.

Now, when comparing our healthcare system to Britian's hands down it looks pretty crappy in the simple fact that they don't have to pay for being in the hospital. Who heard of having a baby for free...who?!? But this is just to say that they have their issues too even though the grass looks greener on the other side. This is something I'm going to have to follow up on and see how it turns out before I pack my bags after Obama's tenure in office is said and done.

Diversity Since we were in Hereford most of the time the diversity was lacking. I saw a handful off African-British (or American) and Asians. But in London it was bustling with them! Lordy they were everywhere in the hotels, the underground, at the cookie cart, in the loo. London is definitely as diverse as NYC is when looking to and fro at those around you on the streets or anywhere.

And then we dined! Food has become a very important part of my life now that I've proclaimed myself a "foodie." This is a good and bad thing in that I get damnright giddy after I try new places and enjoy the decadent desserts or entrees offered. But I also find that I think about meals more often then I used to and don't stop thinking about food until I'm full. Doesn't bode well for me wanting to lose weight.

I noticed that I get especially antsy about food during travels because you don't necessarily have the luxury of storing stuff for later. Unless you get something like cookies, bread, candybars, certain fruits, etc. you'll probably be dining out for the most part. And it's even worse if you don't have the capabilities to do anything but boil water for tea/coffee. So you feel a need to gorge until your next meal and who knows when that'll be! So we ate...a lot.

We arrived on Pancake Day aka Shrove Tuesday and enjoyed the European pancake aka crepes as us Americans call them. While Hereford didn't have hot dog/pretzel vendors on every corner there was the lovely pancake lady with her ready-made crepes and warm donuts that she sprinkled with chocolate sugar, regular sugar, or cinnamon. Yum, yum, and yummy! Two donuts for a pound people! It was amazing! Outside of that there weren't any cart people to speak of in Hereford. Sad to say. But they did have the same shops as us which can be expected to see a McDonald's and a Starbuck's. But don't expect to see a Dunkin Donuts when they have their own equivalent. And some things are just so good like West Cornwall's Pasty shop. It was like the Golden Krust of Britain! The steak and ale pasty that my husband got to try twice (even though we went to Cornwall Pasty four times for it) was amazing. It was like a tangy beef stew in a nice pastry shell. And filling too since they had small size then the big ole regular ones.

There was also a Pizza Hut right across the street form our B&B that did not taste like the Pizza Hut we know of. It was mediocre at best (as was my lasagna and the caesar salad that took 45 minutes to make) but it was obviously the family spot for people in Hereford north of the City Centre.

When traveling one may feel disappointed at seeing chains you see all the time. We traveled to see things that are distinct to that place not the same. Or you can feel a bit of ease at the fact that if all else fails you can get a Big Mac from the golden arches. My husband was slightly upset to see a McDonald's but once he got tired of the offerings during breakfast time he high-tailed it across the street to get some hot cakes. I stayed diligent and ate as much of the English Breakfast as I could get. That's right I'm hardcore.

Re-jected and it feels somewhat good: Finding the strength to submit (one's work)

Last week I had a short short (or micro story) rejected by an online magazine. Even though the heart immediately begins to race as you read the first few words searching for anything confirming acceptance you then see the word "regret" and feel your heartbeat slow down and all is as it was. Excitement be damned. A year or so ago I blindly (and in the sense of that term mean carelessly) submitted a short shortI had written a few years ago while getting my MFA. Now, when writing short shorts for a workshop class people will be positive about anything that is entertaining for the few minutes they need to hear it. Thus, my short shorts tended to lack depth. But they made people laugh. So thinking that at least some people saw the humor in what I had written I submitted it to a relatively new online zine figuring "what the hell". What the hell indeed came about in an e-mail that said they preferred more mature prose and that the story didn't go anywhere. Hmph, saw that coming. This time around I had worked on a random prompt just to get the juices flowing and kept developing it over a few months. Again I thought "what the hell" and submitted this piece to the same place that had rejected me initially for knowingly sending something subpar. This time I was prouder of my prose and sent it on. Reading the rejection e-mail that was almost two months in the making put a smile on my face because I indeed got much better critique from the editors than I had before. They simply said that the story needed a bigger hook, but that the prose worked and was "solid" and "vivid". Hook I can try to fix. But if they said the voice sucked or that the prose was sloppy or weak again I probably would've just erased the whole incident from memory and acted as though they didn't exist. Knowing that in comparison to the two works they received from me they also so the growth in my narrative voice made me really happy. Yes, the rejection stung still, but vast improvement was made and I did it and they acknowledged it!

Now, let me lay out the types of writers there are in this world when it comes to submissions. There's the writer that toils over every single sentence, every word until it is perfect before submitting anything to anyone, anywhere on this planet. Let alone showing the piece to people and holding their breath as their workshop mates go around the room giving their piece a thumbs up, down, or marginal either way.

There's the writer that composes, may look things over once or twice then submits because they're carefree. What is rejection? It only makes me stronger laughs this "no-holds-barred" writer that throws caution to the wind and has a stack of rejection letters, e-mails, post-its tucked away as their reference to keep on truckin'.

Then there's the reluctant submitter. This is the category I fall into. Why do I not submit? Because I never feel anything is good enough. Yeah it may be better than it was last week, last year, or even in the last decade. Perhaps the prose is steadier, more mature, more vivid, but that doesn't mean it's any good. Yeah, my friends may say it's straight forward and interesting, but once you thrust it out to an editorial board of a large lit mag, small lit mag, or one some hunched over, sleepy-eyed grad students just created to get the stuff "they like to see in print" doesn't mean they'll feel the same way.

I know my voice has grown substantially since I started writing in junior high school, but that still doesn't mean I'll beat out the hundreds of thousands of other aspiring writers in a contest, for publication, or elsewhere. Once it's out there, being read by people in the depths of Mississippi or the most "urban" area of Westchester doesn't mean they'll get my intent. So why even try? Just let the story that slowly increases to stories that inflates into stories & a partially finished novel which will evolve into those two half-done novels, a poetry collection written after a bad break-up, and several dozen stories marinate over time until you're truly ready to have the world (or the editor of Tin House) lay eyes on it and go on to judge it? There's time after all, right?

Judging one's art is the most sensitive thing because (whether you believe it or not) it is a representation of oneself. So when your friends or family look at your painting, listen to your song on a loop, read your story/poem, watch that film you made as your college thesis, listen to the joke you wrote on drunken night many tend to not want to hurt the ego. Some of you may have family and friends who don't mind being an honest, hard-ass or that actually know how to critique your work or someone who'll take the time (if you bake them cookies) to read & absorb your art and tell you what they really think of it. The rest of us may have a dwindling group that continues to compliment us and heavily rely on school, supplemental workshops, fellowships, or online help to get that criticism we desperately need because we haven't quite immersed ourselves in that particular medium we love and toil at so much.

If you're in the "I need more help!" boat I can imagine conversations go something like this...

Writer: "So what did you think of the story I sent you?" Friend/Family Member: "Story?" (scratches chin as though contemplating the reason as to why Rachel Ray and Paris Hilton are famous) Writer: "Yeah, the one I sent you about two weeks ago? You said you'd give me feedback, remember?" Friend/Family Member: "Oh yeah! Sorry. Yeah, I did read it." Writer: (leans across table, in this case the duo are at Arby's, expectantly with eyes wide in anticipation) "And? What did you think?" Friend/Family Member: (looks around a bit before committing to a statement) "I thought it was good." Writer: (skews eyebrows) "Good?" Friend/Family Member: "Yeah, I liked it." Writer: "You...liked...it? That's all?" Friend/Family Member: "Yeah, that's all. I liked it." Writer: (points accusingly at Friend/Family Member then pokes him/her/them in the chest with said index finger) "Fuck you! Fuck you and your Goddamn BA in (insert Major here)! Good means shit to a writer." Friend/Family Member: "Oh, sorry. I just really don't know how to comment on these things. Don't get all bent out of shape. I said I liked it." Writer: "Shut up and give me back my curly fries. You're cut off." Friend/Family Member: (solemnly passes fries on tray with a pout) Writer: "And don't try that shit out on me." (points to himself/herself) Writer, remember? We invented anguish."

We've all been there whether it took place at an Arby's, an Applebee's, in your living room while watching a marathon of Sex and the City or Battlestar Galactica, or what-have-you. And when you have no outlet that is subjective enough you start to feel downtrodden.

Then of course there are those of us immersed in college life whether it is finishing off our BA or going into graduate work where workshops can be somewhat hostile or even less helpful. You may have the instructor that always points out the positives because they don't believe in being negative (yes, the term constructive criticism is considered wholly negative for the most part). Or if you have the instructor that likes "literature" and hates contemporary work, yet that is all you write & read so criticism may not always be...how-do-you-say, open-minded. You may be of a different generation born in the early sixties, seventies, or eighties that remember groups like The Bee Gees, the fight for Civil Rights, were alive during Roe v. Wade, recall how badly the AIDS epidemic began in the U.S. and are not familiar with the words "whatever" or "ginormous" and thus are thrust into a workshop with people just out of school while your work may be on a different level and there's is just about "stuff". As a thirty-nine year old with a husband, two kids (which means three kids in total) that has worked ten different jobs in twenty years thinks what the hell is criticism from a twenty-two year old that just came into her own independence and still clings to "happy endings" to come to (insert City here) going to help?!? Or how about being one of two African-Americans in an all Caucasian workshop writing about slavery?!? The subject matter itself doesn't bode well for an honest, bare-bones discussion and the perspectives from people who may just not be comfortable about race could make things even worse.

Yet, we writers rely on them to push us harder, dig deeper, tug at the heart strings, bring in more action, grab me at the first sentence on the first page, dig into what makes you scared or others uncomfortable. Improve your prose, use less passive voice, be more illustrative, for God's sake stop using cliches! You learn these "rules" try to stay within a certain scope of what you think is decent. You work, work, and work some more until things are crisper, prettier, entertaining and then you send it off to someone who doesn't know you from a hole in the wall and ask them to "please, please accept me into this club of 'published' authors!" "Validate me!" "Tell me I'm pretty and that I smell like sunflowers or a mountain breeze, please!" And you wait, sometimes days, sometimes weeks, many times months (if they like you in some cases) to hear whether you are what they're looking for or not. It's like offering yourself to a good looking guy/gal in a bar every week when you feel you look your best and getting kicked in the shin time and time again because they don't want you. The whole "your story isn't right for our magazine" is the dating equivalent of "let's just be friends". They're not telling you outright they despise you and want you to harbor no ill will towards them per se. Yes, it sucks. And frankly I'm just not up for that type of rejection on a regular basis. So I hope to build myself into the first category I listed of making things perfect before submitting my work instead of saving it on my desktop, backing it up on a CD, and wondering if I should go back to it day after day. It's going to happen I feel it. Baby steps after all. At least I know that I'm getting better, even if it is only the opinion of two people I've never met...and myself.