Day Twelve at @Ragdale

And we enter the last stretch. I will be leaving on Sunday morn and it's getting real! Sad times. So last time I posted I was feeling very blah about productivity. It didn't hit the first day or the second or the third really. And as much as a mofo as inspiration is it hits when it hits doesn't it? Which means Sunday. And even then it wasn't as steady so that come Monday and for the rest of the week I was on fire. I turned on Spotify and it was ON.

Pieces I couldn't wrap my head around the first several days became things I could actually tackle. Say what?!? I know!

One story was still a kick in the butt but it gained some clarity on Saturday. On Sunday my words weren't as lame as I thought and come Monday I was a friggin' genius! I tidied up three stories, not completed them but tidied two of the three up enough that I could show them to others to let me know what is wrong and/or right and the third still being a novella rather than a story but seeing where the direction is going. And then a fourth came out the woodwork and I understood the character a heck of a lot better than I initiated realizing all of the men in my Collection, when I initially wrote them were too damn passive and needed to be active and that is happening! So exciting times.

And then another story came to light and another and another and another and I read some poetry and wrote some poetry before going to bed and then I was revising flash fiction like a fiend and starting new flash fiction all the while listening to this band Spotify suggested I'd like called The Temper Trap and loving them and then I was revising query letters for my YA book and realizing I was almost done and freaking a bit and I was on Twitter and Facebook too but mainly these last several days I was writing and kicking butt and not socializing so much as staying in to write and eat and get right back to writing which reminded me of the Jentel days when it was work.

Of course it hits others too. Residents who are here for three weeks instead of two are getting into high gear come the end of this week and not wanting to get sucked into oh so wonderful and enlightening convo and then you must CHOOSE! What do I want to do? Get more work in or finish off the expensive (or at least most expensive from the supermarket) wine and talk about our lives and our art and what we worry about and bond or do we want to read and then settle in or what? Should we eat leftovers and the dessert while we're at it or just hydrate, hydrate, hydrate with water? We can't make these decisions!

And yet, that tends to course things go at the end of a residency. The rush period where you enjoy everyone's company and then have to toggle between spending time with people you've grown to care about and respect or do the work and there can be a balance but in the final days everyone is all "The hell!? I gotta get these things done!"

We all have such goals when we do these things and in the end you get done what you get done. As I had learned in Jentel and still didn't realize would afflict me here during a shorter time span is that I cannot force it. And I was and am relieved that I'm surrounded by wonderful artists that I could relate to and talk to when I was just out of it. I'm certain that was part of my process for realizing that I needed to get back in the game.

Oh, and remember the whole noise thing? Well I got moved to the Ragdale House which is much quieter but has it's own sounds, mainly the constant creaking of doors and steps when utilized and the shutters tap, tap, tapping against the structure during the (four day in a row) rainstorm we had this last week. Lame. But the digs are huge!

Each room in the House has it's own bathroom and you can literally split it in half and work on one side and sleep in the other side. Divine. And it has an outdoor sun porch! Though this could not be utilized during all this damn rain but the next occupant may enjoy it boatloads.

Just goes to show people, when you complain, nicely, you can get nicer digs. Not that I didn't enjoy the Yellow Room. It is quaint and homey and the Top of the Stairs Room is very old timey reminding me of Gone with the Wind. 

We had a reading on Monday night and it was great to hear what the other residents were working on. Since there are several writers it was eclectic and there was poetry as well. The visual artists also came and listened so we got to hit the auditory senses for them as they hit our visual. Cool times. Everyone's work inspired and enticed and you feel that much more awesome knowing you're with super talented people.

I have to say beyond re-acclimating to the real world again one concern many of us residents have is how we're going to cook for ourselves once we leave. Linda, the chef, has been phenomenal in meeting so many various needs (gluten free, vegetarian, pescatarian, lactose intolerant) with so many delicious meals that just hit the nail on the head every-single-time we don't know how we'll cope! How am I expected to cook for myself after all this? The daily fee for Ragdale ($35/day) is worth Linda's meals alone. This is quite disconcerting when I think on it, so I will not.

Anywho, next post will be a full Ragdale review. Hopefully I won't be in the doldrums as it'll be three weeks and counting until WY. And who knows what my brain will do then. Hopefully I'll eke out a lot there, but I believe we've confirmed you can't plan these things.

Interview with Caits Meissner (spoken word artist, graphic artist, lyricist, and all-around mellow lady)

I met Caits Meissner when we went to Ghana for the first year of the Pan African Literary Forum in 2008. Caits won a scholarship to attend for her phenomenal poetry and I was hankering to go to Africa and use up some bonus money. We were both there for the ambiance and the guidance of a great roster of instructors and authors, and we enjoyed our time immensely.

I have kept in touch with a handful of people from PALF and am certainly glad that Caits is one of them. She's a teacher, artist (in various genres), and gentile soul who's work will simultaneously inspire and astound you. I've heard her live and heard her audio and seen her graphic work and am consistently blown away. (Definitely check out her website(s) and follow her for upcoming gigs.) I was glad she offered to do an interview for her friends with blogs and she has inspired me to do a rotation of interviews with friends who are artists in their own right and want to spread the word about themselves.

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JBH: As an artist, how do you deal with the constant changes in media and social networking? Do you feel face-to-face is dead or as a spoken word poet do you feel you get to engage in meeting people more through performances than perhaps fiction writers and non-fiction writers and so on and so forth?

Caits: What a relevant question! My students, sometimes, when you ask them what their interests are say, "the internet," or "facebook." This fact frightens me, but I am not immune to it. I find myself "plugged in" too often and it accounts for a lot of disconnection in my own heart, despite the facade of intimacy. Its also a great way to be heard, so, like all things in this great life, its a balance. Unfortunately, I have never been much good at balance. I have a plugged in community, so I keep fairly up-to-date with the latest tech invention but its overwhelming. And exhausting. And I find myself less able to focus and lose myself in my art the way I was able to as a kid, with parent-limited 'net access, and a slower than syrup dial up connection. These days, I write a little, check my phone, write a little, check a blog, constantly checking in. Who wants to troll the internet for accolades and mentions constantly? Who wants to pump themselves to their friends and supporters over and over? The trick is detachment from an already detached networking system, and its a sincere practice in this day and age.

The good thing is, as a performer, I do feel connected to the larger world in a very tangible way, being on a stage. There is a direct contact: a handshake, a wink, a hug. But there is something very special, I still think, about being behind a pen and paper. You maintain a certain old-world mystery. I say embrace that. I waffle between wanting two very sharp distinctive worlds: being known and celebrated, and hiding, running away.

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JBH: You're also a teacher, so how much inspiration/motivation do you receive from your students?

Caits: I struggle with this question, deeply. There are moments in the past when I would have loved to answer this question, ranting and raving and grinning. It defined me. These days, I am more acutely aware of what hard work being in front of a classroom is. How much energy you must give to the young faces in front of you. How unkind they can be and you take home the day like an old coat and dust it off, patch up the holes, put it back on and walk back into the wind. I shared this sentiment with a close friend, also a teaching artist, who said, "the amazing thing is, even when you aren't trying, young people are the center of your world when you teach, even if you teach part time, and there is a beauty in that." I agree.

Teaching becomes the center of my life, whether or not I wish my focus was more on myself, my love, my art. Teenagers demand a certain level of patience and attention and it becomes a very real meditation. Sometimes you wait weeks for a breakthrough, but when it happens, nothing is sweeter. The students I teach, for the most part, are not artists by their own definition. They find it difficult to be free in their expression and are afraid to create "wrong." Teaching reminds me there is no wrong. What a victory it can be to pull the creativity out.

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JBH: A little while ago I posted on inspiration, hoping I was an inspiration to my former mentee and reflecting on my own as an adult. Are there people you've met who've been an inspiration to you and you never got a chance to say so? If so, who? Or are there many artists whose written or visual or audio work you admired and were inspired by on a regular basis?

Caits: I love this question! I am pretty good at sharing how much I love someone's art with them and I am blessed to have crossed paths with many of my old and new favorites. Of course, there are some that I just haven't... met, or written to, or expressed to. My friend Dionne Lee (look up her photos! Wowee.) has been writing to her favorite artists and getting amazing responses! She has been urging us to write to our influences and give them our love. I'm going to choose two women I'd love to gush to. Let me get to tell them now:

Dear Ani Difranco,

You saved me at thirteen. Seriously. In every way. Let me open for you.

Love, Caits

Dear Miranda July,

You remind me I can make all the art I wanna, in all kinds of ways. Thank you for expanding the boundaries of what my heart believed was possible for an artist. Thanks for destroying the box.

Love, Caits

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JBH: I'm an avid Obama fan, noted. But popularity is a fleeting thing. And it's interesting that it's something we strive for from the day we arrive on this crazy planet. Do you think fleeting popularity translates across all fields? Especially as artists when being popular is a way to make ends-meet and grow a following? How important do you think it is to be popular or be relevant or just be yourself?

Caits: Internet killed the pop star. It also created millions more in its place. Popularity is an incredibly fleeting thing! Especially in times where the experts say our attention span is shrinking down to three minute clips. It is frustrating to try to remain cool and "in", especially when as a child you were never "in" and still aren't really sure what "in" means.

The problem is our culture is demanding that of us more and more-- or so it seems. Is it important to be popular? Maybe to make money, yes. More important, I think, is to be an innovator, be who you are so profoundly that you create new paths, by virtue of creating simply what your heart dictates. The hope is that you gather a handful of people who really believe in what you do and support you, buy your products, book you on tours, collaborate with you. You hope that translates into staying power.

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JBH: Any choice food places in NYC you'd recommend? I'm always, always, looking for new places to blow-my-mind!

Caits: GOBO! Veggie food for the 5 senses. Oh, just thinking about it... mmmm...

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JBH: Also, are there other media outlets where people can get in touch with you and your work online that you'd like to share?

Caits: Of course! I have a big, baaaaddd website at http://www.caitsmeissner.com and I keep a daily blog at http://caitsmeissner.tumblr.com I tweet sometimes, too: http://www.twitter.com/caitsmeissner

Thanks, Caits for tackling these questions and for sharing your work, your kindness, and influences!